Smile
by Sora G. Silverwind
Summary: Zelos finds personal comfort in helping Sylvarant’s Chosen through her suffering one late night in Altamira.


**Smile**  
**by Sora G. Silverwind**

**Summary: Zelos finds personal comfort in helping Sylvarant's Chosen through her suffering one late night in Altamira.**

**Rating: PG-13 for language and minorly sad stuff.**

**Author's notes: Not intended to be romantic, though it can be interpreted that way if you want to. Zelos' angst section has probably been done a million times over, so it's nothing ground-breaking, just something if you're a whore for that type of stuff (like yours truly). **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, but I will pwn you all. Eventually. When I'm not feeling lazy.**

**Special thanks to: Angst and Koriand'r.**

ToS-ToS-ToS

"_Why is a worthless, irresponsible man like you the Chosen, anyway?"_

_Why indeed,_ Zelos thought bitterly, hearing the Pope's words echo in his head again. _How many times have I asked myself **that** question?_

The group had decided to spend the night in Altamira before embarking to retrieve the zircon from the Imperial Research Academy in Sybak. Zelos was currently seated on the railing of the 4th floor balcony, staring out at the water under the pale, dying light of a waning crescent moon. It wasn't exactly the safest way to gaze at the scenery—he could very well be blown off the railing by high winds and sent sailing to the seas below—but it afforded him a cheap thrill, an artificial adrenalin rush to chase away the murk swirling in his heart.

_I wonder...if I fell, would my wings save me?_

Zelos snorted a laugh at this. He had never been too excited about his role as the Chosen of Tethe'alla, and when he saw what Colette was going through as a result of her angel transformation, it increased his indignation at his fate.

_It's not like I **wanted** to be this way, asshole! Why d'you think I'm called the "Chosen" and not the "Chooser"?_

Zelos groaned and shook his head. That was such a lame comeback. He suddenly felt the urge to just let himself fall, just to see what would happen.

It was supposed to be an honor to be the Chosen. It meant that you were handpicked by Martel, that you had a special talent or ability or whatever that pleased the goddess and would give you the chance to regenerate the world. You had a "gift," and to thank Martel for the gift, you would follow her teachings and take on the arduous quest of the Chosen. But, much to the disappointment of his parents (and himself—he'd wanted cool abilities like reading minds or flying), Zelos had never exhibited any supernatural ability or personality trait that would seem to make his future journey as the Chosen easier. Not that that had helped most of the previous Chosen, anyway. From what he remembered, about eighty percent of the Chosen had failed their journeys, and many of them were superior fighters or experienced magic-users or even psychics. With only his good looks, charm with the ladies, and musical talent that no one much knew or cared about, how the hell could _he_ hope to survive? It was a poorly advocated decision on the part of whoever made the decisions up there. Zelos thought that maybe he was the result of some cosmic accident that happened when Fortune decided to have one too many drinks after a hard day's work.

It wasn't fair. Why should _he_ have to fulfill other people's dreams and give up his own? No...no, that wasn't quite right. That was too selfish a way of thinking. More like, why should he have to fulfill other people's dreams and give up his own without having any say in the matter? No, that wasn't quite right either, because he did technically have a say in the matter. Except that if he said the wrong thing, it would screw him over for the rest of his life.

_Not like I'm not already screwed with this whole angel and Chosen business, though,_ Zelos thought. _I suppose it all boils down to how long I want to drag out my personal hell. Ah, the joys of masochism..._

"Oh, Zelos? You're still up, too?"

Zelos nearly fell off the railing upon hearing Colette's voice. "Ah...well, if isn't my cute little Colette!" he chirped, quickly contorting his facial muscles into a facsimile of a smile. "Having nightmares and can't sleep?"

Colette gasped, and her hand flew to her mouth. "How...how did _you _know?"

Again, Zelos almost lost his balance. But he kept his composure. "I'm just perceptive like that, especially with cuties like you," he said. "Why don't you come on over, and I'll chase all your worries away."

Colette shook her head, looking uncertain. "I...I don't wish to burden you w-with my problems...especially if you can't sleep either..."

"Don't be silly! A beautiful girl shouldn't have to deal with problems all by her sweet lonesome. Now just come here and talk. It'll be fine!" _Plus, misery loves company_, Zelos mentally added, though when he thought about that statement, it seemed rather spiteful and mean-spirited, and he felt guilty. No way did an angel—in the purest sense of the word—like Colette deserve anything like that towards her.

Colette slowly nodded and walked out onto the balcony, gripping her robe around herself.

"Are you feeling all right?" Zelos asked. "Has your toxicosis thingy gotten any worse? No lying, now. I can tell when you're lying."

"No, it's still like it was when...when you guys first saw it." Colette wouldn't look at Zelos. "Please don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

"Pfft." Zelos waved an unbelieving hand. "It's kind of hard _not_ to worry after seeing something like that."

Colette bit her lip.

"So, um...your nightmares?" Zelos prompted. "Let it all out. You'll feel better."

"It...it's just about the disease." Colette self-consciously rubbed her arms. "That I'll wake up, only to find th-that I can't r-really wake up because I'm a giant Cruxis Crystal. And then someone will b-break me, and I'll shatter into a million pieces, and I won't ever be put back together again. But...but even worse..." She looked like she was ready to cry. "S-sometimes I dream...I dream that all of you...h-hate me...because of wh-what I've become, or what I d-did..."

"What you did?" Zelos was perplexed.

"Y-you heard Rodyle! I'm a 'sinful Chosen'...I wasn't good enough, p-pure enough!" She clenched her eyes shut. "I was so, so indescribably happy when I got my soul back...I c-could finally feel again. I could thank Lloyd for that late but wonderful birthday gift. I could hate green peppers again. But I forgot, ever so briefly, about the thousands...no, possibly millions...of people suffering in both worlds...and I...I'm such a h-horrible Chosen for doing so..."

"Horrible? Don't be ridiculous!" Zelos exclaimed incredulously. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, you're the perfect candidate for a Chosen! You're way better than I am, at least."

"How so?"

"Well, I mean...you just are!" Zelos smirked. "I've always thought the Chosen should be a female, anyway. Women have this feminine intuition about the world that is just incredibly sexy. All of you hunnies have it. I swear, it's genetic or something. I tried to use that as my dissertation at the Imperial Research Academy, but my professors just laughed at me and asked for my 'real' thesis."

Despite her obvious distress, Colette managed a giggle. "You're so funny, Zelos."

"It's a natural talent of mine." Zelos grinned. "All the better to make the ladies happy. And since I've made you happy, my job is done here!"

Colette blinked. "Huh? Are you going to sleep now, then?"

_Damn, she has a real talent for catching me off guard,_ Zelos thought, stunned into silence for a second. _Hunnies like her are bad for my heart._ "Er, no, I just meant...ah, never mind."

Colette smiled and nodded. "Okay. Would...would you mind if I stayed here a little while longer with you? It's nice to have someone to talk to."

"Hey, be my guest! I'd never dare turn down the company of an angel like you."

Colette's eyes darkened a little. "An...angel..." She glanced out at the sea.

Zelos winced. _That would be me eating my foot right about now. I think my teeth are currently gnawing at my ankles. _"S-sorry," he stuttered, once again realizing why Sheena called him the "idiot Chosen." On a brief mental tangent, he wondered if that would be his title in future historical scriptures. "That's not what I meant...you know."

Colette nodded, but didn't answer.

Zelos scrambled to fill the silence. "This whole thing with the angels is totally whack. I mean, mutated half-elves working for some giant corporation thingy like Cruxis for Martel-only-knows-what reasons? How's that for disillusionment?"

Again no verbal response from Colette.

"And dude! What's the deal with that Kratos guy? Some angel. He's a total jerk! I'm telling you, I don't care if they all go around calling themselves angels, they wouldn't know the first thing about being angelic if it flashed itself in their faces!"

"Who knows anything any more?" Colette muttered softly. "It's all become so...so mangled. Words, worlds, human lives...it's all twisted and distorted. How can we know anything for sure?"

Zelos sighed, wondering what the hell he had just gotten himself into with his short tirade about the so-called angels. "Well...we're human," he said. "There's a lot that we don't—and probably can't—know. We take a lot of things on faith."

"But sometimes that faith ends up hurting us, when we find that our faith is betrayed."

"Yeah..."

"We were all betrayed..." Colette closed her eyes. "Not just with Kratos, but individually, too. Lloyd and Genis were betrayed by the citizens of Iselia, when they were banished for simply doing the humane thing by trying to help the victims at Iselia Ranch. And I...I was betrayed by Cruxis, because one of them pretended to be my real father, my angelic father. Even th-though I pretty much knew it early on in my journey, I pretended not to notice, both to my friends and to myself...because I so wanted it to be true..." She suddenly looked earnestly at Zelos. "Please, Zelos...you won't ever betray us, right?"

"What?" Zelos was totally unprepared for this.

"Please don't betray us. It's one of the most painful things in the world." Colette clasped her hands together. "Trust, to me, is like a glass figurine: it's beautiful and perfect when taken care of, but once it's broken, the shards dig deep into your heart, and you bleed so, so much." She sniffled. "I know you're a good person, Zelos, but all the same...please...don't leave..."

"Whoah, whoah!" Zelos started to panic. Where in the world had Colette's outburst come from? "Don't cry! It'll be all right! I...I won't betray you, okay? I'll never betray any of you guys!"

"You promise?"

Zelos swallowed. "Well...y-yeah! Of course!"

Even with this reassurance, a few tears streamed down Colette's cheeks. Zelos didn't have any tissues or handkerchiefs on him, so he ended up giving his pink duster to Colette to dry her eyes. Surprised and reluctant at first, she finally dabbed at her face with it and then hurriedly returned it to Zelos.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry over something like that," Colette apologized, rubbing away the last of her tears with her knuckles.

"N-no! No, I totally get it!" Zelos stuttered. "I know it hurts a lot when you're betrayed. Don't feel bad. It's perfectly normal to be upset about something like that." He tilted his head to one side. "But this was so sudden, Colette. What's up? Is this another one of your nightmares, too?"

"I d-don't ever want to b-be...alone..." Colette hiccupped. "I don't want everyone to leave me..."

_WhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo— _"Aw, Colette, now you're just being silly! We'd never want to leave you to fend for yourself!" Zelos got down from the railing and impulsively put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her briefly. "There's...there's more where this came from, isn't there?"

"Huh?"

"You've been hiding all of this away, Colette," Zelos said seriously. "Every last bit of your suffering, you've kept it all to yourself. You can't do that, sweetie! It's bad for you. See what's happened now? You can't sleep, you've broken down crying in my arms, and Lloyd is going to kill me if he finds us like this, 'cause he'll be jealous that you came to me with your problems instead of him."

Colette giggled softly again. "Lloyd wouldn't do that. He's too nice."

"I'll say. He's too nice for his own good." Zelos laughed. "Geez, the _both_ of you are just too damn nice for your own good! It's crazy!"

"S-sorry..."

"What are you apologizing for? It's a compliment!" Zelos leaned on the railing. "Though, with the way you're going, it might kill you in the long run. All your pain, your problems, your suffering...that's way too much for just one person to shoulder. Why do it?"

Colette joined him at the railing. "I hate f-for everyone...t-to worry about me...when there's other, more important things to worry about..."

"But Colette, you _are_ a part of the 'other, more important things to worry about.'"

Colette sighed. "I...I guess that's true..." She frowned. "I j-just can't escape being a...a burden, can I?"

Zelos ran a hand through his hair. Why'd she have to be such a martyr? "Oh, sweet Martel, whatever are we going to do about you? You're a part of the team! Your problems automatically become our problems. Sure, they're problems, and they suck, but we accept that and try to work through them for the sake of everyone involved!"

Colette suddenly locked her gaze with Zelos'. "Why do _you_ hide your problems, Zelos?"

Zelos froze.

A pause.

Colette gulped and glanced down. "I'm s-sorry...I guess that's sort of a...a personal question..."

"N-no! That's...that's...I mean..." Zelos was lost for words. He could only stare dumbly at Colette.

"I'm just...worried...about you." Colette smiled softly. "Heh...I guess it's sort of like how you and everyone else are...are worried about me because I don't say anything about how I feel.

"I don't know if I'm right or anything, but...you hide everything too, don't you? I feel something in my heart when I look at you, whenever you're laughing or smiling or whatever, because I get this feeling that...that your every smile hides a thousand tears...and you smile a thousand times a day."

Zelos' breath hitched in his throat.

_Of course she would know, _he realized._ Of course she would understand what I do. Because she and I...we do the same exact thing. Only...I'm more of a jackass about it. _

Colette bowed her head. "Sorry...is that too—"

Zelos grabbed Colette by the shoulders and made her look at him. "Colette, you are a perfect Chosen and a wonderful person," he said, looking at her straight in the eyes. "Don't let anyone—even yourself—tell you otherwise."

Colette's eyes sparkled. "You're a perfect Chosen too, Zelos! We're alike, a little bit. I think...we kinda complement each other!"

Zelos blinked.

Colette blushed. "S-sorry...was I being—?"

"You weren't being anything but your great, Colette-y self." Zelos patted her on her head. "You know, it really is getting kind of late. We should both be headed off to bed."

"Okay." Colette smiled yet again, but this time it truly expressed the emotion it was meant to express. "I feel so much better now. Thank you so much, Zelos."

Zelos pretended to tip an imaginary hat in her direction. "No, thank _you_, miss!"

As Colette skipped off to her room, Zelos watched her in amazement.

_You know what, Mr. Pope? If Colette says I'm a perfect Chosen...**then to hell with you**! _

ToS-ToS-ToS

**Review if you will, flame if you must. **

**-Sora G. Silverwind, the Queen of Oddities  
_just another one of Zelos' hunnies _**


End file.
